Parenting for Everyone: Section 1.5. About Spirit

This is the 6th post in my series Parenting for Everyone, which is my summary of the book of the same name by Simon Soloveychik. To see all posts in this series, click here.

In moral life, what is convenient is probably false.

To develop a healthy spirit, we need ideals, a concept of happiness, healthy morality. A man of spirit does not expect easy luck. Having had no major difficulties early in life, he is nevertheless prepared to meet life. He is healthier. He is not subject to heavy moods and gloom. He does not despair. His views are not easily shaken. He does not lose faith in life when confronted with grief and misfortune. He can see good things about people. He is able to smile! He knows happiness and believes in it.

Humanity and strong spirit is what can be developed by parenting. The rest depends on natural abilities and fate.

The science of parenting is not about creating a better life or society. It is about bringing up healthy, independent, honest, kind and happy people, and no more than that.

Parenting is a spiritual process. But how much do we know about the nature and laws of spiritual processes?
We'll come back to this later in greater detail, but for now let us note one common characteristics of spiritual processes: here contradictions cannot be resolved. It is not either A or B, it is both A and B. In a 2-week old suckling, we should be able to see both a child and an adult, not half-child or half-adult.

In spiritual processes there is no measure, no scale, no norm, no golden mean. We should come to terms with these inherent contradictions. We should give children independence and we shouldn't, we should understand them and we shouldn't, we should spoil them and we shouldn't.

These contradictions create tension in our spiritual life. We need constantly to exercise our spiritual muscle, expend our spiritual energies.

It is precisely these contradictions that necessitate parenting and education. If love and conscience, truth and duty, independence and spiritual bond with parents could easily coexist, parenting would not be needed.

Man's educational power is not about authority or strength of character, not even about will or love or wisdom. It is about his spiritual ability to join contradictory spiritual movements together in one, to attain harmony, moral beauty. Educational power does not oppress, but elevates.

With weak educators, everything is flat, one-sided. They try to remove moral contradictions, do not feel them.        With strong educators, on the other hand, everything is rich, like a rainbow, in feelings, nuances, shades and colors, everything is contradictory as life itself, everything encourages the child to accept life in its complexity and inconsistency, strengthens his morals and his spirit.

To sum up, we should try to create a more accurate image of a child and to develop our educational power (ability). This is what parenting is all about.

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This concludes the first chapter of Parenting for Everyone, which is about the aims of parenting, which we can sum up as follows:

1. Independence and Freedom
2. Love and Conscience
3. Happiness and Duty
4. Truth
5. Spirit

Parenting for Everyone: Section 1.4. About Truth

For all posts in this series, go here.

Be yourself, be truthful to yourself. Truth is a key concept in parenting and in the life of the soul.

If man is the measure of all things, than truth is the measure of man. It is the measure of man in relation to the ideal man. Truth is about humanism, compassion, highest respect for human dignity.

Strive for the truth with all your heart, appreciate and respect everyone and yourself as a human being. Strive to ensure that such respect be the norm, that the truth triumphs everywhere, that man never be humiliated, offended, insulted, unappreciated, neglected, abandoned, in the dark, that no one be denied free development of all his powers. To strive for the truth means to assert the dignity of man on earth.

Don't force children to tell you the truth all the time. Let us not be afraid of children's secretiveness. We have no right to the child's soul. Let us be just in the matters of principle, but not necessarily in simple everyday situations. A child may be secretive or deceitful so as not to disappoint the parents, to give a short answer, or because he does not feel like telling the whole story, is afraid to be misunderstood. Let us give the child an opportunity to deceive us merrily.

Telling the truth, being truthful is important. But even more important is truthful conduct.

But it is so difficult to bring up a whole, truthful person.

To grow up as a whole, genuine, sincere person means to grow up without fear of people, their reproaches and ridicule, not to be afraid to look stupid, ridiculous, lagging behind.

For a child to grow up into a naturally kind and hones person, in order that he not try to seem better than he is, we have to reject force and coercion. Through coercion we force the child to do something which is not compatible with his essence.

Only that education is solid that teaches truth, teaches the child to be himself. To be rather than to pretend.

Parenting for Everyone: Section 1.3. About Happiness & Duty

For all posts in this series, go here.

How to bring up children? Every minute and with all your heart, wish them happiness now and in the future. And never get angry at them, never disconnect from them, never leave them defenseless against the fate.

One of the most important aims of parenting is to awaken and cultivate in a child a burning, unquenchable, unstoppable desire for happiness.

The art of parenting is to bring up a modest, unpretentious, generous, non-jealous person, who at the same time pursues higher goals, big life. Striving for happiness is his happiness. He is alive. How can this be achieved? Not by saying no to their desires or by giving in to them, but by cultivating their spirit.

Unhappy parents cannot bring up happy children. It is impossible. Freedom is taught by freedom, responsibility by responsibility, love and conscience by love and conscience, and happiness by happiness.

To live together in peace, people need to have a similar concept of happiness.

In final analysis, it's all about finding one's purpose in life and serving that purpose honestly.

Do what ought to be done, and what will be will be.

Happiness implies doing one's duty by serving one's purpose in life. But if we want to teach duty to our children, let us be careful with the word duty. We shouldn't use the word "duty", "you must" for reproach or to force a child into something.

All the misery in the world comes from wrong upbringing, whereby duty is considered a burden, a necessary evil, associated not with joy and happiness, but with hardship. We are not taught to do any job with pleasure, to accept any duty for truth. An ill-bred person is unhappy even from a slightest inconvenience.

In a good family, no one is reminded of their duty, no one watches whether and how the other does one's duty, but everyone joyfully performs their duties, gradually infecting the children with the joy of any work.

If we manage to marry duty and joy in child's mind, nothing more is needed for good upbringing.

One woman, a scientist, said: When a person's spiritual aspirations are fulfilled, than he feels happy.

Childhood is not a preparation for the future life, it is life!

Do not hurt small children, it is a risk to their health.

Parenting for Everyone: Section 1.2. About Love & Conscience

This is the third episode in my series Parenting for Everyone, which is my summary of the book of the same name by Simon Soloveychik.

People often say about their children: "Let him (her) be a good person, that'd be enough." Good means kind and honest.

We all think of ourselves as kind. Why then is there so little kindness in the world?

It is possible to bring up kind and honest children under almost any circumstances. But to do that, there must be at least one person around them who sincerely and deeply believes that kindness and honesty (or, which is the same, love and conscience) are the most important things in the world, let alone that they are not signs of weakness or silliness.

Love and conscience rule the world! This is the essence of parenting.

Love and conscience are the oxygen of the ethical atmosphere. The union of the two is the key. Conscience is uncompromising, love forgives and reconciles.

Love alone, without truth and conscience, is not enough to bring up a child. Responsibility alone, without love and kind heart, will ruin him.

If we wish that our children develop into kind and honest people, it is not enough, however difficult, to show forth these qualities towards them. We must also believe in love and conscience.

Parenting for Everyone: Section 1.1. About Independence & Freedom

This is the second post in my series Parenting for Everyone, which is my summary of the book of the same name by Simon Soloveychik.

The first chapter of the book can be called The Aims of Parenting. I will divide this chapter into sections according to the major aims of parenting:

1. Independence and Freedom
2. Love and Conscience
3. Happiness and Duty
4. Truth
5. Spirit

The first aim of parenting is independence. Man as master of his own life.

Education does not automatically lead to independence, unless one develops inner independence.

Independence means freedom. Freedom is determined by what is the source of punishment in one's life. A non-free person is punished for his mistakes by somebody else (parents, boss, the law), while a free person's punishment comes from inside, from his own conscience. For many people freedom is unbearable, for it implies hard inner work. People try to escape freedom, escape life's hard choices. They are too dependent on others, like colleagues, spouse, on the dark forces coming from the depths of the unconscious.

But why, having outer freedom, are some children and teenagers truly free and uninhibited, while others become lax and rakish? The difference lies in how they got their freedom. What's important is not freedom itself, but one's effort to obtain that freedom, the process of self-liberation.

Lack of attention, lack of interest and involvement on the part of adults does not lead to inner freedom, because the child is fighting for himself in the company of peers and that takes all his energy. When a child has to free himself from his parents, he may get outer freedom, but only to exchange it for a different kind of dependence, the dependence on one's peers.

If there is peace and love in the family, if the child feels free from the very beginning, then his desire for self-liberation growth, he strives to become better, stronger, to achieve mastery in what he does.

Striving for self-liberation, supported by adults, results in a truly independent, free, uninhibited person.

Parenting is about learning freedom, learning self-liberation.

When children are little, it is about freedom under supervision. So try to avoid too many "don't do that". Create a safe place for a child to explore the world independently. Let them do their thing in their uninhibited striving for independence. If we help develop freedom at 5, then at 15 the teenager knows how to deal with it.

Here is another very sharp observation: Many of us believe that one can learn "everything about parenting" from one conversation, radio program or a newspaper article. Many believe that there is a prescription for independence, and another one for bravery, and yet another one for honesty. We think that all the faults of a child are akin to a collection of ailments, and that there is a separate pill for each one of them. But no, this is a total misrepresentation of reality.

The rest of this book is devoted to this seemingly simple question: How to bring up an independent person?

Here, for the time being, are some simple rules that we can teach our children to prepare them for a life among peers:

1. Don't take things away from others, and don't give away all your possessions. LL: I find the first part of this statement debatable. In my opinion it is ok to borrow other children's stuff for a while and to give away your own stuff in the spirit of sharing.
2. Give if asked, try to defend your stuff if they attempt to take it away.
3. Do not fight if not offended.
4. Do not feel offended without a reason.
5. Do not offend anyone.
6. If they ask you to play - go and play. If they don't ask, ask them yourself, this is not a shame.
7. Do not tease, do not sulk, never ask twice.
8. Do not cry about your grades, be proud. Do not argue with teachers about grades and do not resent the teacher because of them.
9. Do not give away your friends behind their backs.
10. Do not be too dirty or too clean, children like neither.
11. Say this more often: let's be friends, let's play, let's hang around together, let's go home together.
12. Remember, you're not the best, nor the worst. Go to school and may you enjoy it! I'll be waiting and thinking about you. Be careful when crossing the road, don't hurry!

Parenting for Everyone: Part 0. Introduction

In this series of blogs I'll be exploring the book Parenting for Everyone written by the Soviet-Russian-Jewish philosopher, educator and journalist Simon Soloveychik.

Soloveychik was a truly remarkable figure and deserves close examination by anyone interested in parenting and education of children as free individuals. I recently read his Last Book (in Russian), and I was greatly impressed by the depth of his insights and his sharp, penetrating thinking.

When starting with Parenting for Everyone, I decided not just to read through the book (as I usually do), but to give it more thought and attention, in order to better understand its ideas. This blog series will serve exactly this purpose for me, and I'll be happy if other people will also find it helpful. By the way, I am reading the book in Russian on this website.

Soloveychik starts off by defining pedagogy (педагогика) as the science of the art of child rearing / parenting. He writes:

We all have to educate each other, because we don't know how to educate small children.

The art of parenting is as old as the mankind itself. The ancients considered it to be a very difficult task, the art of arts. As any art it is easier to learn than to understand. Education of children starts with the education of their parents.

There are three ingredients involved in parenting: parents, children and their relationship. These are respectively the subjects of the three parts of this book.

This book examines parenting of ordinary children, and not of the so called "difficult" kids.

The question is: Why under similar circumstance, children in some families develop well and in others poorly.

The science of parenting does not prescribe how to live or how to be, it does not even prescribe recipes for parenting. It just examines which circumstances are conducive to children's well-being and which are not. This is also the major topic of this book.

What do we want from children? Joy! What is needed so that the children keep bringing us joy in 5, 10, 15 years?

We have two mental images of our child: the image of an Ideal Child and that of an Ideal Adult. The former image is of a child which is easy to control, the latter is of an independent person. These two images contradict each other, and this is the primary reason of our disappointments in our children. By making children conform to one of these images, they are unable to conform to the other. So first we need to take care of this image of an Ideal Child, so that it naturally flows into the image of an adult.

Being imperfect ourselves, we cannot bring up perfect children.

So let's start by defining the image of an adult that we want our child to grow into.

My First Wikipedia Article: Vera Lothar

I love Wikipedia. I can't imagine life without Wikipedia. I look up lots of stuff on Wikipedia. I've been using it for years, and I donate annually to Wikimedia Foundation.

But I had never contributed anything to Wikipedia. I felt there is nothing I can write about, and that there is always somebody who can write better than me on any specific subject.

However, recently, while reading a book by Simon Soloveychik, I was deeply moved by the remarkable, yet tragic fate of a talented French pianist Vera Lothar-Shevchenko, who was educated in Paris and Vienna, married a Soviet engineer in Paris and moved to the Soviet Union in the late 1930s. Her husband and herself were soon condemned to the Stalinist prison camps, where she spent 13 years.

After she'd been released, she spent years teaching and performing in provincial Siberian cities of Nizhny Tagil, Barnaul and Sverdlovsk, until she was discovered by Soloveychik (then a correspondent for the Komsomolskaya Pravda). She was then invited to move to Novosibirsk, where she lived happily and performed until her death in 1980.

I was surprised to find out that there is very little information about Vera Lothar and no Wikipedia article about her. So I wrote one myself. You can read it here in Russian. I am also planning to write one in English.

Writing a Wikipedia article turned out to be not so easy. Wikipedia uses its own markup language, with many templates, and it takes some time to get familiar with it. Also, the first version of the article was immediately changed by somebody else, which was a little painful at first :) But I got over it, as I realized that Wikipedia is a cooperative endeavour, with many people collaborating on articles and improving their quality all the time!

Finished second on Grossglockner!

It took me some time to write about this biking trip, but it was for me surely one of the most exciting moments of this year!

As you might now, every year with a group of colleagues, we bike up a mountain in the Alps. The previous years we used to go to France, where we did several climbs from Tour de France, including Alp de'Huez, Le Deux Alpes, Galibier.

This year, for a change, we went to Austria, to ascend the Grossglockner, which is the highest mountain in Austria and a decent biking climb, even harder than Alpe d'Huez.


Now, this year I started training in April, as soon as the weather got better. My training consisted of biking to work and of a number of long distance rides. I biked a total of some 1900 km, for a total of some 86 hours. So I was hoping I could do much better than last year at Alpe d'Huez. And so I did!

The many hours of training paid off in the bends of the magnifiscent High Alpine Road, leading from our start at Fusch (800m above the sea level) to the finish at Fuschertörl (2400m). (However, the official time measurement started at Ferleiten (1150m), where one can buy a ticket, which is then stampted at the top, recording one's exact time.)

My idea was to keep up with my friend and colleague Dries de Groot as long as possible, for I assumed that he'd be the first at the top as he did last year at Alpe d'Huez. So I started off together with him. After some time I was in the lead, with the rest out of my sight. The biking went quite well, as I was pedalling pretty smoothly in one of the lowest gears. At about 2000 meters, I hit the snow limit. It looked like it was winter, with glistening pretty deep snow everywhere!

The biking started to get harder, and eventually Dries caught up with me. We biked together for a couple of kilometers, which were probably the steepest ones in the race. Then Dries took the lead and slowly disappeared from my sight. It started to get really heavy on me, but I could already see the tower of Fuschertörl at the distance. I passed a few other bikers, but there was hardly anyone who passed me! What struck me was that most people were riding mountain bikes, and not racing bikes. There was even a couple riding a tandem bicycle!

Well, eventually after 2 hours 16 minutes and 9 seconds, exhausted but exhilarated, I finished second at the top, about 7 minutes later than Dries. Dennis finished third half a minute later than me, and Robin finished fourth, another 3 minutes later. A couple of people did not reach the finish and turned back. The longest time of our group was 4 hours and 15 minutes.

We waited at the top for some time, but it was getting really cold (about 0 degrees Celsius). So Dries and I decided to go down. The first few kilometers of our descent were freezing cold. I was glad I wore gloves and my rain gear. But then it began to get warmer again, and we stopped time and again to savor the magnificent views of the mountains and the valleys.

It was sunny in the valley and we enjoyed a few refreshing drink at hour hotel, after which we went to relax at the swimming pool and at the wellness area with its Turkish steam bath and caldarium. The day finished off with a great dinner and a lot of chatting. The next morning we were off for a long drive home.

It was fun driving together with Dries. We could talk for hours, discuss the talks of Bill Harris that we were listening on CD, ponder about life, man and how man perceives reality. Our test came when we got stuck in a huge traffic jam not far from Cologne. Confronted with our own impatience, it was a good opportunity to reflect on that state of mind, to relax and take it easy!

Anne Sophie is 2 years old!

Last week our precious daughter Anne Sophie turned 2 years old! It is great fun to watch her grow and develop. She is a very funny, pretty, tender and clever girl! She is running around and talking all the time!

Just before her birthday she spent 3 weeks with her grandma Dusya in Ukraine! There she'd be doing something all the time: play with her niece Liza and nephew Misha, play with the dog Mukha, two cats, small chickens and geese. She wouldn't come too close to the goat. She would also go out into the garden and pick up and eat fresh produce of tomatos, paprikas, cucumbers, apples and grapes!

Here are some photographic impressions from there:

Some vital statistics:
Weight: 11.2 kg
Height: 84 cm
Teeth: 16 or so

10 Years in Holland!

Today is exactly 10 years since I moved to The Netherlands on Friday August 20, 1999!


These have been truly eventful ten years: I got married to Luda, changed 3 jobs, gained a degree of mastery in my profession, got a wonderful little baby daughter Anne Sophie, made new friends, traveled to many places, read lots of books, got Dutch citizenship and mastered the Dutch language, bought an apartment, gained 15 and then lost 7 kilo of weight, and many more things!

July 2009 Update

I'll start with my usual excuse for not updating this blog: I've been quite busy lately. Although I have, at least temporarily, relieved myself of most commitments outside home and work, time is still a scarce resource for me. With my mother staying over and me trying to let Luda rest in the evenings and weekends, most of my free time goes to Anne Sophie.

Almost every evening we go out to play on the nearby children's playground, where she can play with the sand, climb the stairs, go down the slide again and again, but most importantly, play with other kids. Most of the kids are older than her (they are mostly from 3 to 12 years old), but that seems not to deter her and she tries to imitate them in different ways. They also take good care of her.

I myself also enjoy watching the kids play there. Most of these kids are not of Dutch, but of Moroccan, Turkish, Polish, Somali, Ukrainean descent, and they seem to get along perfectly well. With very few exceptions, they play peacefully, cooperate in various games, take care of the little ones. I also like to talk to them and listen to their stories about their school, home, friends and travels. It's amazing how enthusiastic and creative they are in their play! I often wonder why it is that in most cases this enthusiasm and creativity withers away as children grow older. Maybe it is the parents, school and society at large that stiffle their individuality by forcing them into the narrow confines of what is seen as normal and praiseworthy? But that would be a topic for a separate post.

On other fronts, I've been biking quite a lot as the date of our climb up the Grossclockner in Austria is approaching. In July I bicycled a total distance of 523 km in almost 21 hours, with a couple of longer trips of 30 to 45 km. In August I am planning another couple of long trips.

I've been reading several books, of which I have finished one: The Prentder by Lion Feuchtwanger about the 1st century AD events surrounding the false claims of a certain Terentius Maximus to be the emperor Nero. The book is a fine specimen of historical fiction, of which Feuchtwanger is a true master. Written in 1930s, it draws parellels between the growing megalomania of Terentius and Hitler's rise to power and insanity. The book also gave me an appreciation of the oriental ways of dealing with life, contrasting the linear and straightforward ways of the West, exemplified by the Romans, and the subtle, sophisticated, meditative ways of the East as portrayed by the senator Varro, the rulers of syrian Edessa and Commagene, and the king of Parthia.

My next major reading and study project will be the long desired study of the Hebrew Bible (The Old Testament). I am really looking forward to it!

Crete: Exploring the South Cost

June 22 is a special day for me. Apart from being one of the longest days of the year, it is the birthday of my dear late father Moisei Levin, who passed away 16 years ago. Today he would have turned 72. It is also the day when the Nazis attacked the Soviet Union 68 years ago, an event that left deep scars in the fates of our family (see http://www.levins.info/history/history.htm). We started the day by remembering my father.



As usual here, we had a delicious breakfast consisting mostly of the local food. I get up about 6 or 7 in the morning and walk downtown to buy some relatively inexpensive but amazingly tasty local produce, so we had freshly baked bread, local sheep yogurt and sheep cheese, local cucumbers and tomatoes, apricots, freshly pressed orange juice and a watermelon. I’ve made my usual smoothie for all of us, by mixing in a blender some bananas, oranges, apricots, peaches and strawberries.

Then we decided to relax at the swimming pool until noon, so that Anne Sophie can then sleep in the car on our way to a new destination. It was really enjoyable for all four of us to swim in the pool, although Anne Sophie was mostly running around or floating on an inflatable raft.

Having spent the previous days in the north and east of the island, today we set off for the south. After a 1.5 hour drive (which gave Anne Sophie plenty of time for her midday sleep) through beautiful mountainous countryside, we arrived to the Messara plain, which boasts some of the oldest and finest ancient cities: the Roman city of Gortys, as well as the Minoan settlements of Phaistos and Aghia Triada.

We skipped Gortys and started with Aghia Triada, which is an amazing ancient site on a hill top overlooking the Messara bay and the high peaks of the Psiloritis range (reaching up to 2500 meters above the sea level). There are remains of late Minoan and Mycenaean buildings (2500 to 1300 BC), such as a shrine, large Royal villa, the settlement area and the agora (market). It is fascinating to see the stones and walk the ground that ancient Cretans used to walk as early as 4500 years ago! Amazing if you think that it would take 1600 years before Jerusalem would be built and more than 2000 years before the peak of Greek (Hellenistic) civilization, which by the way borrowed a lot from the Cretan Minoans.

There is also a beautiful small 14-th century Byzantine church of St. George with fine frescos.

A 3 km drive took us to another fascinating ancient Minoan site: Phaistos, widely known for the disc of Phaistos, a clay disc with still undeciphered hieroglyphic characters, which is supposed to be some form of prayer or hymn.

Situated in a beautifully scenic location, Phaistos used to be a Royal Minoan palace with a number of courts, a theatrical area, the main palace, many store rooms, stairways, cult rooms, workshops and other dependencies, truly worth a visit. Anne Sophie was running around and talking all the time, making it difficult for me to concentrate on the numerous plaques describing the various parts of the site. Once again, my mind went “wild” imagining what it would be like to be here 4000 years ago.

To cool off, we drove another 12 km down to the coastal town of Matala, with its fine pebble beach and quiet clear sea waters. According to legend, it was here that Zeus swam ashore in the guise of a bull with Europa (his beloved Phoenician princess) on his back. It was nice to swim in the sea, view the sunset and enjoy a spectacular view of ancient caves in a nearby cliff. The caves are thought to have been started by the Romans or early Christians to be used for tombs, but many hippies made new elaborate caves in the 1960s. They say that people like Cat Stevens and Bob Dylan used to live here for some time.

On our way back, we stopped in a small village of Ayios Ioannis (St. John) for an evening meal in a picturesque local tavern (recommended by our Rough Guide). Being the only customers on a Monday evening, we sat under the grape vines looking down over the valley, savoring excellent rabbit and lamb meat with Greek salad and an amazingly delicious side dish (too bad I forgot the name) consisting of yogurt, Feta cheese and peppers. Anne Sophie ran around playing with a little kitten and with backgammon pieces. The hostess (the cook) and her son (the waiter) were extremely friendly and offered us watermelon and their home maid raki (a kind of vodka). Only my mother tried the raki, which was very strong, while the rest of us enjoyed the watermelon :)

It was fun driving home in complete darkness, listening to local music and switching the far lights on and off at the approaching cars, with Anne Sophie sleeping quietly in her seat. We stopped on a high pass for a few minutes to stare at the multitudes of stars in the sky.

It was a truly wonderful day. Sleep in peace, dear papa.

P.S. On our last full day on Crete, we visited the remains of the ancient Mycenaean city of Dreros. Then we went to Kritsa, which boasts a beautiful medieval church and an amazing gorge. Me and Anne Sophie (on my back) ventured to walk up the gorge, but had to give up after a few hundred meters because of a few huge boulders that I didn't dare to climb fearing that I can injure my daughter if I fall (see the pictures).

Anne Sophie was really looking forward to a bus ride to the airport and to the flight back home. She would repeatedly say "на автобусике, на самолетике", which means "on a bus, on an airplane". However, she slept peacefully in her mother's lap through most of our flight :) By the way, we flew above Venice and could clearly see the city!

Holiday on Crete!

Sometimes one has to decide very quickly. On Monday June 15th, Luda saw a last-minute, very inexpensive (195 Euro per person, 40 Euro per baby) offer for a week's holiday on the Greek island of Crete, which would start on Wednesday June 17th. And we thought what the heck and booked the holiday for the three of us and my mother, who is now visiting.

We've already been on the island for 4 days and are looking forward to the remaining 3 days! It is a wonderful destination through the combination of great weather (sun all the time), beatiful nature and scenary (the mountains and the sea seem to be everywhere), and very ancient culture which dates as far back as 2500 BC and is considered to be the cradle of European civilization.

We live in a simple but very nice, quiet accomodation on a hill overlooking Hersonissos, some 600 meters from the beach. We are renting a car, which is a great way to explore this island, where ancient sites and historical and mythical places await you everywhere.

Having spent the first day on foot, roaming about the city and the beaches of Hersonissos and relaxing at the swimming pool, on our second day we drove to the amazing Lasithi plateau and then walked up to the Dhiktean Cave, where according to legend, Rhea gave birth to Zeus. She was hiding there from Kronos, Zeus's father, who had been warned that he would be overthrowned by a son, and who accordingly ate all his sons. This very large cave is definitely worth a visit, despite quite a strenous climb of 15-20 minutes.

Almost all the roads on Crete can be marked as scenic routes on a map. The views from the roads are magnifiscent and often breathtaking. But to see the real gems of nature hidden on the island, you have to go on foot. For me it is a real pleasure, because I love walking. I carry Anne Sophie and some necessities such as water and food in a baby carrier on my shoulders, which adds another 12 kilo to my weight and gives me some extra exercise :)

On our third day we went to see the ancient city of Archanes, which has a wonderful small archeological museum, and the nearby ancient burial ground of Fourni. The burial ground, which is the largest Minoan cemetery discovered and has some Royal tombs, is very well preserved and dates back to around 2500BC. The coffins and other excavated objects are to be seen in the museum in Archanes. From there we took a winding mountain road to a place called Zaros, where Luda and mom relaxed at a trout lake, while I and Anne Sophie went up to a monastery and from their to the fabulous Rouvas gorge.

In the evening, there was a Greek party for the guests of our accommodation. Our elderly but very friendly hosts made a lot of delicious food, including barbeque, tsatsiki, etc. And there was music and a lot of dancing, including the draditional Greek dance of sertaki! Anne Sophie was enjoying herself too, running around the swimming pool, dancing on the pool table, and chasing the cat, who eventually got angry and left a couple of marks on Anne Sophie's arms.

The next day, we went eastwards to Aghios Nikolaos and down south to Ierapetra. Then we made a 3-km climb to the Dorian city of Lato. It was a very scenic climb up a very old stone road. Unfortunately, the site was already closed when we got there, so we might go there again today or tomorrow. But the walk was still worth it due to great views! From there we went to a small costal place called Plaka with a nice stony beach and a great view over the small prison island of Spinalonga. It was nice to cool down in the sea water after the very warm day and the tiresome walk!

That's it for now. I'll post the photos when we are back home! So stay tuned!

Film: Waltz with Bashir

A friend recommended watching this 1.5-hour-long animation film. It is an Israeli production about the Israeli army's incursion into Lebanon in 1982, amidst the harrowing civil war between various religious and political factions in that country.

Based on a true story, the film is written and directed by Ari Folman, who himself took part in those events as a 19-year-old and who plays himself in the film. Most of the other characters are also played by the real people they represent, which makes the film even more powerful.

The film is very well done, and is probably the best animation I've ever seen. But I usually pay little attention to the presentation, as my mind primarily focuses on the message of a work of art.

This animation film moved me deeply, bringing me to tears, as I watched the fear and suffering of both the (former) Israeli soldiers and the Palestinian refuges. Many years after the conflict, the former soldiers still have visions and are desperately looking for answers to make sense of what had happened there.

A great thing about this film is that it is not black and white (figuratively speaking). It depicts the good and the bad, the human and inhuman in people. Anyone of us could find ourselves in a similar situation, and I just hope that we will act with humanity and compassion, and not with cruelty and indifference.

Please, watch this film if you have a chance. I am sure you'd also be deeply moved by it.

Congratulations, Roger!

I am so happy Roger Federer finally won the French Open tennis tournament today! He is such an excellent, graceful, intelligent and dignified player! A pure pleasure to watch him play and talk.

Roses in Roosendaal

This morning we went to Roosendaal once again. Luda and my mom went to buy some more clothes at the Mexx sale, while Anne Sophie and me went to walk around the town. We had really good luck, and not only because the weather was good.

Today Roosendaal's main square was also the venue of a Roses Festival, with lots of flowers, music and cheerful people. By the way, the name of this town, located near the Belgian border, means Rose Valley, so I guess this was no coincidence.

Anne Sophie and I had a really good time. She was running around the square, danced to the music of the brass bands, played with other kids, and entertained the people around her with her smiles and dancing. In between, she ate strawberries (they are now at their best) and some rice cookies.

I managed to do all the important groceries at the market and at a nearby organic shop. While I was shopping, Anne Sophie fell asleep, just in time for us to go and pick up the ladies and go home!

Sample Sale Experience

Last night, at the invitation of Mexx (for whom I do a lot of work), we went to a Mexx Sample Sale event in Roosendaal to buy ourselves some brand clothing for little money. Well, that's what it's all about. You get into a huge warehouse with lots of clothes and other stuff hanging around, and you just go and grab what you like. You pay 3 to 10 times less than what you'd pay in a regular shop. That's a real bargain.

This event is organized once a year, and we almost always go there. I always go there with mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's a great opportunity to buy some good clothes for almost nothing (especially for Luda). On the other hand, I always sense something wrong hanging in the air. It must be a spirit of raw consumerism and greed, with people running around grabbing stuff, filling their plastic bags to the fullest. Suddenly it looks like everyone is loosing their reserve and their manners. What matters is that you get what you want.

I wonder how much money people spend on a sale like this. Judging by the size of their bags, it must definitely go into several hundreds. Yesterday I spent 50 Euro, buying myself a pair of shorts (my old one are completely worn out), two pairs of socks, and two sport jackets. Luda spent another 150 Euro, but she seems to have bought a lot of stuff (also some for my mother). The best piece she bought was a black leather jacket, downpriced from 299 to 50 Euro. That was a good deal!

It was funny to experience the raw consumerism at such a close range. It leaves a dead feeling inside of me, but it has its place in our society. The trick is not to get swept by it. Once a year should be enough. Happily, the sample sale only happens once a year!

Eat for Health

A few posts back I wrote about bicycling as a way to keep fit, be healthy and contribute to the environment. Well, from April 1st I started biking to and from work again, and has been doing this for 2 months now with great enjoyment, pleasure and enthusiasm. In these 2 months I biked 293 km / some 14 hours in April, and 262 km / also some 14 hours in May. In May I also walked a total of some 50 km with Anne Sophie in a stroller or in a baby carrier on my back (actually all of those walks were done during our holiday in Portugal).

Another important aspect of well-being is healthy food. In our affluent Western society, the biggest killers of people are cardio-vascular diseases and cancer. According to many, the principal cause of these ailments is our unhealthy nutrition.


I've been trying to improve my diet for years. I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, etc. But still I was gaining weight. Recently, I came across the book called Eat for Health by the American nutritionist Joel Fuhrman. The biggest conclusion I made when reading this book was that I needed to review my whole diet: eat much more foods rich in nutrients, and much less nutrient-poor foods. Dr Fuhrman provides a lot of advice and lots of great recipes for gradual transition from SAD (Standard American Diet) to healthy diet.

Two weeks ago I started experimenting with his diet. And I must say - it's just great! I started by making healthy breakfast for all three of us (and now four with my mother visiting), which includes freshly pressed orange or mandarin juice, and some kind of oatmeal with berries and nuts or a fruit salad. Also I make a smoothie for myself and for them to eat at lunch. For lunch I also take a bunch of green leafy vegetables, tomatoes, cucumbers, crisp bread and humus (my colleagues find it very funny). In the evening I'd make a healthy desert, such as poached pears with raspberry souse or some blueberries and bananas mixed with nuts and seeds.

This past long weekend I cooked most of the meals myself. Today for dinner I made broiled fish (tilapia) with braised bak soy, and a delicious raisin/apple/cinnamon/nut desert. I must say that I really enjoy this healthy cooking, which I thought I never would. The downside is that it still costs me a lot of time to cook. I am not yet experienced in doing many things at the same time. But I am getting there!

So if you wish to improve your diet, try this book:
Eat For Health: Lose Weight, Keep It Off, Look Younger, Live Longer

Bon appetit!

Holiday in Algarve, Portugal

Have you ever been to Algarve, Portugal? In the first half of May we made our first visit there, and it was just fabulous! To many people, Algarve is just too touristic to be worth a visit. So I was a little apprehensive as to what we might find there. Well, this beautiful costal province in the south of Portugal exceeded all my expectations.



Well, we went there in low season, so there were few tourists. That was definitely a plus. Secondly, we are not really beach goers, so instead we rented a car and went to explore the gorgeous countryside and breathtaking remote beaches. We did 4 walks of 10 to 12 km long, of which two were costal walks along the beautiful rocky beaches of Praia de Luz and Praia de Marina, and the other two were in the sweet scenting rolling hills of Silves and Alte. Anne Sophie enjoyed the walks, and would often fall asleep in her baby carrier, which I carried on my shoulders. We also went on a one-day trip to Seville in Spain.

Another thing we enjoyed immensely was the food. Everything tastes so great there: tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, oranges. It’s heaven and earth compared to the fruit and vegetables that we get in Holland. A simple meal of bread and cheese with fresh vegetables, some freshly pressed orange juice and strawberries – it is a veritable paradise!

The people of Algarve are friendly, pure, quiet and relaxed. It feels that they are not yet spoiled by the dubious fruits of modern civilization.

So if you ask me, I’d definitely recommend Algarve as a holiday destination. But be sure to go in low season, rent yourself a car, and go explore the beautiful landscapes and villages on foot!

Company Trip to Prague

This year our company celebrates its 10th anniversary. To mark this event, everybody (including partners) was invited to a weekend in Prague, Czech Republic. Unfortunately, Luda could not come along because we had nobody to look after Anne Sophie, and taking Anne Sophie on this trip (as much as I wanted) was out of the question with my employer.

(Photos: courtesy of Alex Vishnyakov)

Prague is a really beautiful city. It has a very large and well preserved old town, with several different architecture styles. It was once the third biggest city of Europe (I presume after Paris and London), which was due to the fact that the emperor Karl IV of the Holy Roman Empire made it its capital in the 14th century. Everything is named here after Karl: Karl University, Karl bridge, Karl street, etc. The Jewish quarter, just a couple of blocks north of the main square, is very well preserved (it was surprisingly spared by the Nazis, unlike its inhabitants). Prague is really worth a visit, and it is quite inexpensive to stay and eat here.

It was also interesting to roam the streets of the newer part of the city, which is a strange mixture of the modern western influences and the Soviet past. Many things reminded me of home (that is Minsk).

The Czech people seem to be pretty gloomy and unfriendly. From a guide I heard that it is a complaint he heard many times from the westerners. Even young people, not “spoiled” by the Communism, wear blank faces. This is especially feelable in restaurants, where waiters treat clients in a rather rough, unfriendly manner. Well, may be the Czechs are genetically unhappy people. I don’t know.

I had previously been to Prague once, in the summer of 2000 with a baha’i youth choir from Benelux. This time was different: everything was arranged and paid for by the company. We stayed in a hotel just a couple of blocks away from the headquarters of Radio Liberty (Radio Svoboda), my favorite radio station broadcasting in Russian (among other languages). The hotel reminded me, at least in some ways, of the communist times, but was quite good.

One of the highlights of the trip, was a bike tour of the old city. What a great way to explore a city!

All in all we had a great time! I will definitely go back to Prague with Luda and Anne Sophie one day!

Winter Blues

This blog has been silent throughout the winter. Why? Well, do you know what winter blues is? That’s what happened to me this winter. Basically that comes down to a lot of sleep, little energy, no desire to go anywhere or do anything. It turns out that as much as 10% of the population in the Netherlands suffers from this form of mood disorder. The winters here can be really depressing: no sun, no snow, gray sky, cold wind, drizzle.

So, how do you cope with that? Essentially, I just accepted the situation as it was. I was telling myself: just keep surviving the winter and hoping for the spring to come soon. I cut back on many commitments and projects, did virtually nothing outside work, read several books, watched lots of movies, and spent time with my daughter.

I also went to see my medical doctor, who recommended light therapy, which is about sitting 30 minutes in front of a special lamp every morning for one or two weeks. I had to wait a few weeks before I could sign up for that, so in the end I did my therapy in the end of March, when I already started to feel better. I still don’t know whether it really helped, or whether I was recovering anyway due to longer days and more sunshine. At least it had a disciplining effect on me: I had to get up early every morning to be in down town by 8:30, which was actually one of the biggest problems. But I emerged from those two weeks refreshed and again full of zest for life.

So if you ever get into a winter blues, try light therapy. They say it really helps!